i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm passing your future prison.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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