I cockslap morals
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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