Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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