Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
