i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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