oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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