she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
