Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You ate ashes out of my bong
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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