Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Holy shit dude........stairs
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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