Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i love accidental penises.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need water and some morals
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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