EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
