Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
