its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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