My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
