sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
