Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The adults are the big ones right?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize