lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
