last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
