My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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