Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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