I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
