but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
