She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
