my cup is half full, half full of rum.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize