he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Boobs are out for the taking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
