Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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