Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
