so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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