Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
