check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
