belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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