A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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