Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think my moral compass just broke
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