I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
