just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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