someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize