so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We are all done wearing pants today
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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