woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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