We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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