what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
