Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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