he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
