Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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