Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
