just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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