I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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