Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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