I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
