i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
barbara walters just said penis...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
