Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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