I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
