Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
