and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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