...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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