may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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