So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
