You smell like stripper and shame
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
