he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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