he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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