I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
