You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
