i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
